Sadie (shimarisu) wrote,
Sadie
shimarisu

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Also, does anybody know anything about St. Johns Wart?

My co-worker suggested it when I told her how I want to get tested for how moody I am... I think most all my friends know I'm moody, but I'm the worst with Rob. He gets the full brunt of it... when I found out his sister was pregnant I was yelling at him for not caring about her even though in the back of my head I didn't know why, I knew it wasn't completely true, and I knew I should be asking him how he felt and supporting him... but I kept yelling.

It's really one of the things affecting how he feels about me.

I was talking to him and reminded him how he'd said he could deal with me being moody 'cause of his sister, and he said "But it's different... you'll be full out unbearably bitchy, or you'll be happy, sweet normal Sadie." I'm not constantly bitchy, I'm not self-centered... I just swing a lot with him.

My co-worker is bi-polar and when I was telling her she said it all sounded familiar, I suspect I may have tendencies but I'm not sure. She told me about how she's the only one who can talk her brother down (he's worse than her) because the people with him were telling him "calm down" and you NEVER tell him that... they just get more and more upset... I do especially... I get furious, even if I wasn't mad before, if somebody tells me to calm down... I mean, I have hit people for saying it to me, when I was younger... I hate it, I hate it so much.

She told me she takes Kava kava, her brother and mother take St. Johns Wart and Valerian Root respectively... all for the same thing. I've heard of St. Johns Wart, so I think I'm going to try it... just to see if it helps with my moodiness in general... I still want to get tested, though... for Rob's and my sake. It really is aweful for him when I mood swing on him... and then when we're arguing I'll be spitting venom at him shortly followed by "Hehe, your voice is hot when you're angry" and the end of the fight. One of those is illegal in the netherlands and I think the other it said to consult a doctor before using... so that's why I'm leaning to the one I know.

I also need to figure out/find a place to get tested... I dunno what doctors do what T_T
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